What Does It Cost to Be Kind?
Hi all! I am currently on the plane back to Boston after a wonderful week in San Diego. I loved getting to see my family- both blood related and not.
Being with my family, especially my best friend, has made me come to terms with the way I have been treated over the years. I learned a lot about my self-worth, and about how others value me. I almost feel like I have been used by many people, only to be thrown away after I show symptoms.
This seems to be a trend with BPD. Honestly, there are some benefits to having this disorder. It makes you more empathetic and intuitive as a person, as it allows you to reflect on your own feelings. We know how bad it hurts, so our instinct is to treat others the way we want to be treated. People with BPD are typically very kind and very true to themselves!
Regarding treating people the way you want to be treated, it is SO important to lead by example- and that doesn’t just go for mentally ill people. It costs absolutely nothing to be kind, to smile at strangers, to being there for friends, to opening doors for people, there are so many factors that indicate that a person is kind. And they’re all ridiculously easy.
If people are shady or mean, that is usually indicative that those people are unhappy with themselves, and project that onto vulnerable people. This is why people with BPD fall into this cycle of bullying. It’s easy to blame something on a person who has unstable emotions. But it is also very, very wrong.
My friends and family have helped me realize this. All you can do with unkind people is to ignore them and allow yourself to blossom further. The only person you can control is yourself, and if you end up wasting energy worrying about what other people think, you will lose that control.
Being a kind person makes the world a better place. And the first person you can be kind to is yourself.